It's funny how God teaches us. A few days ago I blogged about how I don't understand God's perfect love and don't believe I ever will. Today, just the opposite. I don't understand God's tolerance. Lot's of books have been written on why bad things happen to good people. I have never read any of them. After a day like today however, I don't think it could really help.
I am the chapter head for the Central Texas Threads of Love, a national organization of people who sew clothes for babies in the hospital who are sick, premature, or have died unexpectedly. It is a place I can be God's hands. I am a good sewer, and feel this is a need I can fill. But I will never understand why babies die. There have been three times I have been personally contacted because of a death. One of those was today. I am very glad that I can do something small in the face of such tragedy but most of the time I simply drop off the clothes in a big bin at the hospital, the nurses come and pick things up as needed, and I personally don't see or hear from anyone. Hence, I have only had personal calls three times.
Today I came home from work to find three messages about one child. Today, it was the first child of a member of our church. God tells us that it is not his will that any should perish and although He may be speaking eternally, it seems He is very tolerant.
I will go to bed tonight sad, but this young mother will go to bed tonight and never be the same, today will become a part of her that colors who she is. It will also color her relationship with God, for better, worse, or maybe both. So, I wonder why God is so tolerant.
My friends and I are studying Ruth. In Ruth chapter 1 Naomi attributes all of her suffering to God. I don't do that. I attribute my suffering to Satan. I view my suffering as God's tolerance to Satan, sort of the way we see Job suffer and Satan's limits in that story. I don't believe that God does bad things to us. I do believe that we must have sorrow to know joy.
Cancer is a living part of me, even 15 yrs latter. It was awful, but my relationship with God grew from it. It makes me who I am today and I am happy with that. So, if offered the chance to omit that part of my life I would not take it. I think there is a large part of that person whom God needed to fill the Central Texas Threads of Love spot. However, I still don't understand why babies die.
I have faith that God works his purposes in spite of Satan and I will claim that on behalf of this mother. I know that I will never be able to understand a 4th dimensional concept in a 3 dimensional world. I see God's Love and his Tolerance on two extremes when I know it is all part of the whole: the refining fires of God's perfection.
So I pray God's strength for this family as they stand in the incomprehensible heat of the fire.
1 comment:
Whether you believe it or not, you are one very powerful weapon that GOD uses against Satan. Death holds no power (you are an example of that). Remember you are life to those who have to experience physical death. Don't be discouraged - I'm proud of you. I admit that I have no way of understanding what a parent feels when they lose a child, but I do completely understand what a wonderful blessing you are to me and to those who are grieving. I see Christ in you - keep Him there and continue to fight against Satan.
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