Clutz of the month

Sunday, I went to church with friends and took in Tim's Bible because it was smaller and easier to carry than mine. Had a great service and put the Bible in the passenger seat as I left. I did some shopping, messed around a bit, and then went to pick us up some burgers.


Now our car was made before the invention of cup holders ... can you see it coming? Yup, I turned a corner and toppled my melted ice over in to the passenger seat where the thin pages of Tim's Bible promptly began absorbing large quantities of Water.

PANIC

Still driving I began trying to convince myself it wasn't so bad while fumbling behind my seat to find the roll of paper towels I knew was back there somewhere. OH NO what have I done! I began blotting the inside of the back cover, and turning large sections of pages that had stuck together - still driving. Blotting, turning, blotting, driving, turning, blotting. It was hopeless, from John through the concordance - nearly the whole new testament, Ruined! I thought about the scene in The Incredibles where Bob uses a blow dryer on his books, so I held it out the window (not a good idea.)

I arrived at home.

I walked sheepishly into Tim's room, and immediately began to promise to buy him a new one as I held up his soggy wind blown, now 3 inches thicker, Bible.


He began immediately with the classic Its-OK-baby I-love-you-more speech and as I promised one more time to buy him a new one he said,

"It's just been Baptized! It's more Holy now."

I am still Laughing Hysterically!

However, the really ironic part is, I just bought, the day before, a, no joke, WATERPROOF BIBLE!

Awww Nuts

Dilated

What a wash of a day!

I had to go to the eye Dr today and I was there for TWO HOURS! I was with an employee for all of about 15 minutes. Aww nuts. The worst part however was that they dilated my eyes, and my appointment was at 9 this morning so it ate up my WHOLE DAY. Note to self all eye appts to be scheduled late in the afternoon. I made this one earlier because last time it took 2 hours as well and I thought maybe it won't take so long. Apparently it makes precious little difference when your appointment is, but I much prefer to be able to do something with my day. I came home and tried but with your eyes closed it is kind of hard to see. I don't remember it bugging me so much last time. I really thought I could get something done, so much for that. The part that I wasn't sleeping or in that office I was sportin' this look:




I know it's becoming but I would just as soon do without all that comes along with it: Getting Absolutely NOTHING Done!

I tried to get a shot of my dilated eyes for you but it was really to late. However I did get a fleeting picture of Lilly - the fairy that lives in my eye:



She's on the left

Isn't she cute!? She is kind of shy and doesn't come out a lot so I mad the most of the photo opp I think.

Not over till ...

So here I sit on the morning of Herbert's second birthday and I am realizing I haven't written anything about the last years saga. I thought I would wait until I knew the out come, but it has taken this long to know, and I am not sure that I know, now. So, here goes nothin'...

Herbert is what we named my finger after they cut part of it off. Yeah, Yeah I am a little strange, but I am OK with that. So, Herbert did great for a full year after amputation and then Dec of 2008 rolled around and he seemed to have developed a zit right on top of his head. (I thought it a little odd myself). It had done this once before, popped, and gone back to normal so... yeah... It didn't go back to normal. It EXPLODED. Really. It changed shape, it got shorter, I'm serious. So, off to the Dr. Again. Staph, positive, antibiotics for 2 weeks.

After Christmas it was still draining, then... I was changing the bandage one day and a piece of dead flesh peaked out of the hole in the end of my finger. Dr. Again. He cut and sent to the lab this wad of obviously misplaced flesh and thought it wise to send me to Orthopedics. The Ortho-resident saw me that afternoon agreed with everything my primary Doc said and sent me home with instructions to return to ortho if need be. So more antibiotics and another 2 weeks later Herbert was still draining and I was doing my best not to mess with him when one afternoon a sort of plug fell out of the top of my finger leaving another monstrous hole in the end of my finger. Doctor. Ortho was not able to see me but my primary was. He cut off some of the calluses around the hole, told me he thought that was what needed to happen all along and sent me home with more antibiotics to wait some more. Ortho called me back looked at the diagnosis, no worries total agreement, by this time it was February.

Long about April I was getting impatient, Herbert was still draining and we landed ourselves back in Ortho with the resident who began to talk of surgery. (I KNOW that would make 7) His diagnosis it seems was that I had what was called a fisher; outside skin formed inside, and that my body was consistently filling this pocket with fluid causing the drainage. It would have to be cut out and sewn together "I am scheduling you to see our hand specialist"

Oh Yay.

It would be a month before we could get in and boy was I nervous. It seemed to be getting better, but still draining. Easter came and It had all but stopped. Finally. It had a callous on top about the size of that zit so long ago but all together it seemed better. I kept the specialist appt anyway and he said "looks OK maybe it has done it's thing, call if it changes."

For months it was fine, seemingly. Then, the last week in July, Pop, drain, Here we go again. Almost two years after the accident still dealing with the healing process. "Will this NEVER end?" I got very down, I didn't want to go to the Dr again; and I didn't for 2 weeks. I was hoping it would go away. Then, this hard, sharp, skinny piece of something began poking it's little nose out of the hole under the callous. "WELL, this is interesting." Doctor. But not the Ortho Dr the last I heard form them was surgery and I didn't like that.

Now, in one of my Weight Watcher meetings, there was a man that had cut off his fingers and then grown a round fingernail that laid flat against the end of his finger. Could that be it?

Nobody really thought that probable, everyone said Herbert was to short for that...

2%

Welcome to my life.

So I guess you could say Herbert is "well" again at this point. But I do think that whether or not it's true, I have to believe that Herbert has a fingernail. If for no other reason than my sanity I must believe it. Nothing is changing. Nothing is going away. And Every few days I have to file his "horn" down even with the rest of my finger. They just came out with that new animated movie with the monsters and aliens and there is that blue cyclops... Yep, looks like Herbert.

So what do you think?


Is he


a Cyclops,



Is He




a Unicorn,


or is he





a Pinocchio?



Happy Birthday Herbert!

When did it start?

Take a seat please as I don't want anyone to get hurt as you laugh Hysterically at what is going on over here tonight. I suppose I can answer my own question about the onset. Last week Tim and I went on our 11th anniversary vacation and watched the new Star Trek movie in the actual Theatre (I know, wow Right? Temily in a movie theatre.). Tim has been dabbling in Trek-ism for a while now. You know the regular get-on-Daddy's-good-side, son-in-law kind of affection for ones father-in-law. Cute really. I suppose it all caught me off guard because I have always been a "Trek-y" of sorts, or at least as much as can be espoused by someone who doesn't like TV in general. However, this is far deeper than I ever thought possible and so sudden. So get ready.

Tim and I just watched the first 2 episodes of the original Star Trek.

That wasn't "it." this is "it":

Through the whole 2nd episode Tim sat on the floor playing non existent blues riffs on the guitar!

Remind you of Anyone?


OK I realize not all of you know my father. But let me assure you, My Daddy is sitting in the other room STILL PLAYING under the assumed name of Tim and 25 years younger.


Tim has played more in the last three hours than he has in years! And Tim has never ever played without sheet music. Daddy has never used sheet music. Creepy. We have not been home from our vocation (in which we saw the newest Star Trek) long enough to unpack and It is as if, all of the sudden, there are 2 Mr Green's on the planet and names and faces have been changed to protect the innocent. Seriously, he is even wiggling his feet the way Daddy does. Who knew? Beware, if you go see the new Star Trek movie Your husband will soon assimilate in to your favorite Star Trek junky. If you are married to your favorite Star Trek junky you have nothing to worry about. If you can't stand Star Trek beware, the assimilation will take hold quickly. As for me however, I have now achieved every little girls ultimate wish, to be married to someone Just like Daddy. I love you both more than you can imagine!

Happy Treking

Wow the Space Center

WOW.

Really.

We walked in to the Space Center and Daddy immediately realized he wasn't in Abilene any more. We were both fascinated. We soon found the displays of all the Space suits throughout NASA history. Some were still covered in MOON DUST! I was reading anything I could plant my eyes on, and Daddy kept pointing to things and saying "That Has Been to The MOON Emily!" and when I would offer up some piece of seemingly revelatory information he would say something like "Yeah, you didn't know that? Well, I don't guess you would, you weren't born yet." Then he would say some random piece of space trivia knowledge that left me in AWE.

We decided to do the grounds facilities tour first. It was great. That place is HUGE. They drove us around in a golf-cart/train-type thing and told us about all the buildings. Then it stopped and we all got out:

MISSION CONTROL BABY

Daddy and I were the first ones in, and the last ones out. (It was that way on all the tour stops, but who does that surprise) Dad talked about how many times he had seen this on TV, and the tour guide said they were using this room into the 90's! Wow, right? These days, mission control lives in the room downstairs and they all work on Macs... OK the Mac part is my edition really, but it is conceivable.

We were enjoying ourselves fully.

We got out again at one of the training Facilities. This is one of four rooms (if you can call it a room) in witch they do all sorts of training and simulations. It is ENORMOUS! It would take about four pictures like this one to get show it all.

Do you see the nose of the space shuttle in the bottom left?

This is what it looks like when you get closer. that big open place in the middle is where the Mechanical Arm stays.

Guess what...

There was a girl in there Training!

The orange in the window is her real live space suit. You could even see where her Space Helmet hooked on.

I KNOW!

We lingered, and some nice guy took our picture for us.

(No, there is not any Cardassian in my blood.)

We were the last ones out of the training center as our tour guide mentioned while gently edging us of the area, that this is the newest training module. Do you wonder why it is so small? Let me tell you.

It is the mock up of the next LUNAR LANDER FOR SATURN 5! I don't know why they had to put it all the way across the gargantuan room but, in a hurry, and on mega zoom, making everyone else wait on us, I snapped a couple of shots. Both came out blurry. However, next we went to the rockets so remember this tiny, little, can't-stand-up-in-it, moon lander when you see what takes it to the moon.

More to come

Oh Where is my Hairbrush!!!

For some of you the title of this post will immediately make you start bobbing up and down as you sing one of the all time greatest Veggie Tales songs - The hairbrush song. (Just as an aside - if you have never heard Audio Adrenaline sing it your life simply isn't complete, you just don't know it yet. come see me I'll play it for you) However, I have never really internalized The hairbrush song the way that I did on my Daddy vacation last week.

First, you need to know that the Hairbrush in question was PERFECT. Really! I mean worthy of it's own blog just about how wonderfully the bristles moved just enough but not to much, and none of the little ends came off, and it wasn't too big and ... - Perhaps you should "talk amongst yourselves" for a moment.

Sorry

Second, I have been searching for a duplicate hairbrush for as long as I've had it, especially once Tim started using it. All the while knowing that my time with the perfect hairbrush was limited due to my own nature. To no avail I have searched the world over. I think it may have been promotional or something another one does not exist - Even on EBay. (It was a white clinique hairbrush that came in one of those 'get free with purchase' kits. If you have one, name your price.)

Third, I have had it for SIXTEEN YEARS! No joke. I can't keep anything for that long without breaking it or locking it up so that it never comes in contact with me. I know it has been 16 yrs because we came together at a bitter time for me. It was a gift from some well meaning stupid person. I remember thinking "ooo this is an interesting brush, I have never had a brush like this one, I'd like to try it out" but alas ...

"No Hair for my hairbrush, no hair for my hairbrush, no hair no hair no where no hair no fair no hair no where back there NO HAIR..... for my hairbrush"

(enough about that. just refrain from giving a cancer patient a hair brush until after treatments, it will mean more then).

Finally, and this is the Kicker, before leaving the house on my Daddy vacation, I remember thinking "you shouldn't take the hairbrush, you'll lose it." Tuesday morning: . . .

"having just finished his [her] morning bath and having searched for his [her] hairbrush
Larry [Emily] cries out
'oh where is my hairbrush, oh where is my hairbrush, oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where oh where is my hairbrush'
having heard his [her] cry Pa Grape [Daddy] enters the scene, shocked and slightly embarrassed at the sight of Larry [Emily] in a towel Pa [Daddy] regains his composure and reports 'I think I saw your hairbrush back there [in the car]'
'Back there is my hairbrush, back there is my hairbrush, back there back there oh where back there oh where oh where back there back there back there is my hairbrush'"

(no Daddy didn't see me in a towel; otherwise it was just like that...spooky huh)

Hope! I searched the room, Daddy searched the car. It was time to go so we delayed our searching and I used Daddy's "Fonzie" comb and we got on with the day. No worries really seeing as how a Hairbrush can't just get up and walk off. Can it?

Daddy Vacation!

SO,

Daddy retired and Tim said one day - "You just need to take your Daddy on a vacation"

so I did.

I got really EXCITED. We decided to go to the Space Center and stay for 2 nights eat lots of breakfast and Seafood. Yum! Still I have to admit - just me and my Daddy hasn't happened since our trips to Houston for chemotherapy 16 years ago - so I was a little apprehensive about how much "dead air" there would be. I mean, Tim is the talker in our relationship and Mom is the talker in theirs so would that mean we would both stare off into space wondering if the other would come up with something to say? Or maybe 16 years worth of words would begin to flow uncontrollably from some fold deep in the brain waiting ... - OK scratch that definitely not. But really, would it be awkward? I remember those Houston trips with a bit of a mental block. None the less by the end of a week we were both so exhausted of words that one time I actually sang all 99 verses of 99 bottles of "coke" on the wall just to break the silence and even more unbelievable Daddy didn't stop me.

Turns out there was no awkward silence nor was there a deep chasm of words. Well, acctually I did surprise myself on the way down there. like I said, I was really excited and I get words when I am excited. Daddy is such a good listener, he just listened while I talked. It was exactly as it should be, just like the good days was when I was 16. Daddy being Daddy and Me being Me. Together.

See! this is Daddy putting the hotel DVD player back together after it ate his DVD

Daddy being Daddy and Me being Me. Together.

My Favorite Christmas Present

It... is finished.

I have been working night and day on an ugly old chair my mom didn't want anymore. She gave it to me at Christmas.



Any one wonder why? Or do you just wonder why I took it.



Mom actually inheirited it from my aunt, who didn't want it anymore either


Well, I have this amazing new room in our house and it needed an amazing new chair
but I couldn't find one, and this one was just my size, and so comfortable, but still... I am not blind, and my room is amazing. So, I could pay someone else to recover this free chair or then again why couldn't I do it myself? I am just as capable as the next guy, right! Well...



I was having my doubts


but after this much work I was kind of commited ... or need to be



Have you ever seen a naked chair?

This is it!

But low and behold...

Hours...

Days...

Sweat...

Blood.
(no Emily project would be complete without it.)

Some serious Staples...

Wouldn't this make a neat puzzle

can you find three brass tacks?...


Come on, don't give up so easily!


You would not believe how seriously those stinkin' staples can embed themselves in carpet.

I went over and over that floor with a magnet pincushion grandmother gave me,
I don't know what I would have done without it,
Thanks Grandmother.

Ok, Ok,


I know you're ready...


but this is a blog


I think it deserves a certain amount of


Yadda Yadda Yadda


If you know what I mean,

Ok!


Voila!




Isn't it amazing!


Do a little spin for us




Work It!


I have a whole new respect for Oragami-ists

those folds took HOURS ! ! !


have you forgotten yet?



Yes it really is the same chair

No, Mom you can't have it back,

Neither can you Aunt Kay.


And it's just the right size



Thanks, Mom.