Friday, September 02, 2011

Texas Tall Tales

Now I didn't write this but I found it funny enough to share. It came from some family of mine that lives in Midland/Odessa TX and since my Husband grew up there I thought I would preserve a bit of our heritage. Enjoy! 
The Great Midland Flood of 2011
(Midland, TX, Aug. 12, 2011) The city of Midland yesterday received one of the most remarkable and devastating weather events in the history of Texas.
In a mere 37 minutes, from 5:24 PM to 6:01 PM, Midland International Airport recorded more than twice the total amount of rain than had fallen during the previous 319 days, dating back to September 26, 2010.
Police officers reported that it was like a “wall of water” had descended upon the city. The water mixed with the nearly year’s worth of oil that had collected on roadways to make rush-hour travel nearly impossible.
One driver reportedly saw a stop sign too late and tried to slam on his brakes, only to end up in Odessa.
Cattle, who for several months had taken refuge from the drought and heat in giant cracks in the ground, were swallowed up whole by the Earth as the soil suddenly absorbed all the moisture and closed in over their heads. Rescuers, trained in Alpine avalanches, were going from ranch to ranch listening for distant mooing sounds.
Meanwhile, panicked young rattlesnakes took refuge in the branches of nearby mesquite trees.
In one especially hard-hit neighborhood, volunteers were going door-to-door in rubber boots looking for people needing assistance.
Two persons have been hospitalized so far. One, a 23-year-old woman, was standing on a street corner when the rain began. The driver of a nearby car attempted to activate his windshield wipers, and pieces of dried, brittle rubber flew off and struck her in the left eye.
The other injury was to a 47-year-old man who sprained his ankle while dancing.
John Nielsen-Gammon, the Texas State Climatologist, said that the 0.36″ of rain Midland received in 37 minutes yesterday was still not sufficient to break the drought.
“It’s a very good start,” he said. “And the additional hundredth Midland received an hour later was really the icing on the cake. Just twenty-two more flooding events like this one, and Midland will be back up to normal precipitation for the year.”
[Editor's note: the rainfall statistics in this story are accurate. Everything else is merely plausible.]

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Sick

Tim is sick. Sick, sick. He didn't want donuts this morning - sick. He is sleeping while on amphetamines - sick. Poor baby. It hit hard and fast on Thursday and hasn't let up. He also has a motorcycle trip planned with his dad all next week. So tomorrow sick or not he is going to set out for San Angelo on his gold wing - sick. I just pray he gets some good sleep in the mean time. And cookies. I can do cookies.

Monday, January 31, 2011

It's alive!

"Just so happens that your [phone] here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead... Mostly dead is still slightly alive."

"How long do we have to wait before we know if the miracle works"

"Don't rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles"

I buried my Iphone in rice and waited...and waited...and waited some more. After a week my Iphone woke up without a hitch!

"Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it for a while"

It seems that because it fell off with the case that the water was hindered by the case and enough water didn't get to it to damage it permanently. Still, I have ordered an otterbox as weapon against my klutz-y-ness. But don't worry I know:

"He shouldn't go swimming for at least...what?"
"An hour"
"Yeah, a good hour"

What a great Movie...aaahahh

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I broke it

I broke Tim's plane... the second time I touched it. It's his favorite toy and I broke it. Apparently there are some specifics that you need to know for it to take off. Like if Tim says it'll be OK that does not negate the fact that I am still a one of-a-kind extreme super klutz extraordinaire. The plane hit the ground at full throttle, knocked the cockpit cover off which flew backwards and ran into the propeller cutting it in half. Word to the wise my friends, if you want to have nice things don't let me get any where near them.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Iphone

I dropped my Iphone in a puddle and didn't notice for 3 hours.

This is why I can't have nice things!

I don't deserve an Iphone.

RIP
Emily's Iphone
Aug 9, 2010 - Jan 15, 2011
Only 4 months but It was true love

I wish I could say it was only mostly dead - There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead