Today the Temple Daily Telegram came to take pictures for an article about Threads of Love. One of the questions was "what keeps you doing this?" My first thought was "How should I know?"
Maybe a better way to phrase that question would be "Why are you dedicated to this". I learned how to sew 20 yrs ago when I wanted a new dress for my 10th birthday. My father who regularly took cars and motorcycles apart and put them back together again was amazed at my abilities (still is I think). Non-the-less 7 years ago when we moved to San Antonio I was introduced to a sewing ministry. It was for tiny premature children struggling to survive. Finally Something I could do! Something I am good at! I was involved for a year and we moved. When we moved here I decided to start the Central Texas Chapter of Threads of Love. I hauled sewing machines and fabric from our apartment 20miles away every other week and sewed mostly by myself in a classroom at the church for 6 months. It is very hard to be dedicated to something by oneself, but How could I get people to come? I decided to step it up, every week, this still meant hauling all that stuff back and forth and I still wasn't sure people would come. But they did. Now we serve (sometimes not so well) 4 hospitals: 3 NICU units, 2 labor and Delivery units, and can always use more hands. But what keeps me dedicated? I don't like being in charge, I would much prefer to sit and sew with no decision making, and sometimes I wonder whether or not it go on if I wasn't there. So, there again what is it that keeps me going?
As a ministry leader I have to guard myself and it surprises me, a lot, from what. Myself mostly. Feelings. I am easily offended when it comes to Threads of love. I view it as mine. It is not mine. I am surprised at how easy it is to get caught up in the day to day and begin to feel a burden. I get weary easily because I feel a burden and I feel it hard to ask for help because "they won't do it right." Do you know where I'm coming from?
I want others to be as dedicated as I am to the same thing that I am dedicated to. That is not going to happen. They are as unique as I am. Still that doesn't answer What Keeps ME dedicated. So maybe it is necessary to dig a little deeper. I think it is possible that God has been preparing me for this since I was 10 yrs old. Before that really, from all the years I watched my mother sew all of our Easter dresses. He has not done that for the other ladies. So how can I expect others to understand my dedication when they don't have the same preparation (and I don't seem to understand it myself). Maybe that is why I find it so hard to answer "what keeps you doing this" I don't really know anymore except that it seems to be what fills me in. What small thing I can do for God, after the enormity of what He has done for me.
Bottom Line? I think God really does prepare us for dedication by giving us a passion. A deep down passion, for something simple maybe, like sewing. Then He develops it into opportunity. It is not always a happy-go-get-it passion sometimes it is an I-can't-stop-if-I-want passion. It is important to also come along side others dedication Lord knows Ministry Leaders really need the help. But for me at least, to be truly dedicated, it had be to something God had prepared, something I was good at, and like to do. Other wise I could have never developed the I-can't-stop-if-I-want passion that leads to the dedication that I can't seem to explain. I would have stopped.
